Why are you so scared?
That was a rhetorical question. No need to analyse fear to give me a well thought out answer. No need to tell me about Amygdala, Hippocampus, fight or flight programming and all that jazz.
Dear world, see how beautiful you are. I mean really. Come on. With so much of beauty around where is the time or space to be scared?
Why are you so dissatisfied with yourself, dear world?
Yes. You guessed right. Rhetorical question.
Hunger? Fear of a depleting body? Fear of death? Someone might kill you? Even if someone does not kill you physically, someone might stab you with words?
But there is no one else out here other than you dear world. And there are no aliens either. Those ‘aliens’ are a part of you. All that there is, that is you dear world.
World implies all that there is.
An ever present cauldron of transformation, change, metamorphosis – dear world, your transformations are so fascinating. How come you do not marvel at it?
“People are dying”, I hear you say ardently.
No. Cells in a body are transforming. Lava is forming. Like it does. That is what is happening with you these days dear world.
People are not dying. There are no ‘people’ here.
I can hear you say indignantly – “I exist! How can you just negate my existence?! How can you say there are no people here??”
Yes my friend, I totally agree. You exist. And you always will. You who are reading this perplexing post right now – you. You exist and you will always exist. Your body will transform, your mind will transform, but you – you will always exist. That is so fantastic isn’t it?
And as your body transforms, as your mind transforms, you will get to touch different parts of the world, you will get to travel to different parts of the universe. You will do this physically. You will do this mentally. Same difference really. And wherever you go, whatever you touch, you will become that. And soon you will become the world.
How wonderful is that, isn’t it? This expansion.
“BAM!!!” Some body just pressed a gun and shot a bullet through your body. “BAM!!” Another shot. One more hole in your body. Its not your body really, its ‘a’ body. Anyhow, we will figure out the ownership claim later. Some body shot this body and there is blood pouring out, and intestines, and all kinds of muck. The body has fallen down.
Well, that is what happens. That’s the way the cookie crumbles. That’s the way the body disintegrates when some body shoots some body. Actually mind rather. It’s the mind that directed the body to shoot the body. But we will figure that one out too later. Important question is – what about you? You still exist. Some body shot your body but you still exist.
Check once. No, don’t look down at your body to check. Check your mind. Do you in your deepest self still sense that you still exist?
The body associated with the label ‘Vani Murarka’ has fallen down. You, you dear reader, the one who is processing this information, you still exist.
So dear reader, why are you so sad?
Your body has fallen down (well you still believe it is your body, so ok fine) and now you get to see firsthand, you get to experience firsthand, what happens when a body ‘dies’.
How utterly superb!
Well granted. Being shot at must be a very very unpleasant experience. To consciously die, peacefully, with full awareness, must surely be much much better. I too would much rather be Vivekanand than Gandhiji or Martin Luther King. But whatever the kind of cookie crumbling you got to experience, it is mighty fascinating, no doubt about that.
“You lack compassion! How can you trivialize people dying and all the violence in the word!”. Is that what you said?
Nope, my friend. I am not trying to trivialize people dying and all the violence in the world.
It matters to me that you are sad. It matters to me that the world is sad. When I am sad, that matters to me (don’t ask who I am – that right now is a zillion dollar question).
It is because the world is sad that people are dying and there is violence all around. Sad is not bad though. Sad is part of the “that’s the way the cookie crumbles” ball game – the system so to speak. Certain thoughts create sadness. That is just the way the system functions. Thoughts are powerful. Thoughts create. Certain thoughts create joy. Certain thoughts create sadness. The thought that creates sadness has been thought a lot in the world, so there is a lot of sadness in the world. Sad by itself is not bad.
But coming back to what matters to me. You dear friend, you matter to me. You do not gush at your own beauty – your super awesome utterly fantastic infinite beauty. That matters to me.
When I can see how utterly beautiful you are and I come and tell you and you do not really receive it and you continue to be frustrated with yourself – that matters to me.
When I see your beauty, I feel joy. But then when you don’t accept your beauty, my joy is diminished. You’ll agree won’t you – no one likes their joy to be diminished, do they?
You are beautiful. I see your beauty and I feel joyful. Why should it matter to me that you cannot see your beauty? I am joyful. Why is that not sufficient?
Because we are connected. Because we are one. Because the moment I saw your beauty, I became you.
In you I dwell.
I am you.
I am love.
Image credit: Earth from Moon wallpaper.
I am a lone horse in the field.
I gallop in the wild open meadow
of my mind,
where ever I please.
Lone horse in the field.
Wedded no one, and yet I did.
I birthed nobody, yet I did.
His power burns in my belly
I gallop in his arms, free.
Lone horse in the field.
His song sings in my mane
His wine burns up my lips –
Not just lips, I am aflame
Lone horse in the field.
Blazing comet, shooting star
Powered by his fantasy
Gushing down as a river
Dancing amok, this is me.
Wind, stars and the sky
and the grass, and the trees
Wherever my eyes rest
He is there – only he
I am there – his ecstasy
~ vani murarka
Image credit: Kimballstock.com