Jeevan Deep

i am energy taken form

Jeevan Deep

there is a light
burning in me
in the darkness
burning bright
calm steady
in the storm
not triumphant;
conquered, no –
this light of my being brightens
up the world.

through drops of water
sunrays filter
forming a rainbow many-hued
and these rays
onto the earth
make flowers bloom
of many hues –
they seem apart
these happenings –
but in them
the law of Nature
is one, infallible
on this i rest
my faith unwavered –
science inspires
me through life.

vast is the universe
i am a speck…
but lowly, no.
mortal, i am
but feeble, no.
i am energy
taken form
i am my own identity
the never-ending
flow of force
as Newton’s laws
that is the truth
is beauty, grace, eternity.
this my faith
pulsating bright,
in my heart
there is a light.

~ Vinod Tewary
~ translated from Hindi by Vani Murarka

The original Hindi poem “Jeevan Deep” can be read on Kaavyaalaya here.

Image credit: photographer: Jia Hao. The World at Night (TWAN) 2012 contest winner.

experiencing my self

There is a me who lives with me
A very loyal companion
Very kind and often quiet
This me I can depend on

to always be with me however
I may feel, I may behave
It will quietly sit with me
No matter what is going on

It will never separate from me
This is totally for sure
The very nature of this me
is such – this I can bet on

It was with me in Mumma’s womb
It saw me come into this world
It sat beside as I was locked
In infant coma that had come on

As I grew up and spent those hours
Drinking the joy of sunset skies
Along with me atop the roof
This me too daily marveled on

Teenage years and growing fears
This path or that, the choices made
This me it walked with me whichever
path I chose to walk on

Illness and the angst of love
Bitter feelings in the heart
Through it all I did not know
This me was my companion

No I have not split in two
To talk of a me inside of me
I have become aware of this
kind presence I can rely on

~ vani murarka

Can A Poem Be Lonely?

A poem can be about loneliness but can a poem be lonely?

Yes. A poem is lonely if it is not read. A poem is lonely if it is not acknowledged. A poem is lonely if it wants to be read but does not give of itself to be read.

Poems are often introverts. To ask, ‘did you like my poem?’ is to do disservice to the introvert poem.
For a poem to hold itself back, to not give itself to the world, to its intended reader is to do disservice to the world, to its reader.

But poems born of vulnerability tend to be scared. Poems are often born from a center of vulnerability.

Poems are concentrated emotion, raw yet refined. For an emotion to not be received, having given itself, is an emotion’s biggest dread.

But the emotion needs to acquire wisdom too. The recipient may not have the bandwidth and tuning to receive. At such times, the emotion must patiently wait without letting it’s tenderness shrivel up.

Whatever the emotion, when held with tender love, is a poem. Anger, when held in the palms of tender love, is also anger but also becomes a poem.

For love is beauty. And whatever the ras, a poem has to be beautiful. A poem of vibhats ras must also be beautiful, while remaining vibhats. Without intrinsic beauty, a poem is a malformed poem. A poem expressing bitterness, to be a poem, must be beautiful, refined in its expression of bitterness.

This does not mean that to be refined a poem should be oblique and aristocratic in form and language. No. But a poem needs to carry self respect without indignation. A poem can be direct, simple, matter of fact, in the true language of the poet (not a pretentious acquired language) – but standing with self-respect the poem will be refined.

And that is how it should be presented to the world. Not in a snobbish manner. Not in a grovelling manner beseeching acknowledgement. Just matter of fact self-respect. This is me. Then if the poem is acknowledged or not, does not matter, for the poem would have acknowledged itself.

Born for One Reason

Often when I encounter you
It seems to me that I was born
For one reason – to love you …

Often when I encounter you
It seems to me that I was born
For one reason – to love you

So many twists and turns
Have occurred between us two
Even then love continues

You talk to me, for this reason.
This is why I talk to you.
Withdrawn though as we are
Into shells of hurt, we two.

I was born,
for one reason –
To love you

As I detect the universe
in my heart, in its dust
I find you

I was born,
for one reason –
To love you

I speak my mind and my heart
In a poem I don’t send to you
So you’re not inconvenienced
By a tug that pulls at you

I was born,
for one reason –
To love you.

right, wrong and neither

this is right and this is wrong
so you get four out of ten
try harder, come try again …

IMG_20160510_070912

this is right and this is wrong
so you get four out of ten
try harder, come try again

if there is something in there
that is pulsating for you
then yes, try again, yes do

the subject you do not dig
do not let it pull you down
many ways go to the crown

heed you not the screaming voice
every kind of skill has place
this our world is filled with grace

bunch of fear as wisdom words
elders and we ourselves give
spirit gnawing way to live!

may your song be gay and free
whatever tune it may take
have no fear, nothing’s at stake.

 

laughing buddha tell me how

Laughing buddha tell me how
gay abandon fills you so.
surely something i don’t know. …

laughing buddha

Laughing buddha tell me how
gay abandon fills you so.
surely something i don’t know.

weaving weaving web of words
weave a pretty picture please
through that picture show me how
can i heal sadness with ease –

“do not see sadness as bad,
its a form of energy.
yet entangled do not be.”

Laughing buddha thank you so.
would you share something else too?
3-liners and 4-liners
making threesome set of two …

“silence is the realm of joy.
then let everything be free.
drop the thought: ‘this should not be’.

Free others and free yourself
that is all i have to say.
feel the shifting energy –
beauty such! you *will* be gay!”

~ vani murarka

words are small pathways

Words are like small pathways.
They take you somewhere and then they themselves fade away, leaving you in the space of that feeling …

IMG_20160429_071754Words are like small pathways.
They take you somewhere and then they themselves fade away, leaving you in the space of that feeling …

then another thought comes by –
word it and its fructified
is it possible to stand
on the mat of just one word?
just one thought?

choose a word a thought a feeling
shining forever for you
make it your Alladin’s carpet
see where it will then take you

let stuff happen there below
you can make infinite space
your own country, your own land
ever in the lap of grace.

~ vani murarka